Useless Things I Know: Part I

I woke up this morning with a song stuck in my head: the theme song from the Winnie the Pooh TV show that came on Disney channel when I was about 10 years old. Not the cute "Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh, chubby little fuzzy all stuffed with fluff"... no, not that one. That one is familiar. This song is cheesy, and it is wasting space in my brain.

Which got me to thinking, "How much other useless stuff is in there taking up room that could be filled with other important things, like game theory lectures or the weekly schedule of my favorite trashy TV shows (like Kendra and Tool Academy)?" Even worse, I wonder how much useful stuff in my brain was destroyed by exorbitant amounts of Jack Daniels during the last couple years of high school, leaving the theme song to the Disney Channel Winnie the Pooh show instead?

Thus begins the blog series, "Useless Things I Know."

I really had to take my time with this. What information is actually useless? I consider the theme song to Fraggle Rock to be important pop culture knowledge for someone my age, along with name of at least one Spice Girl and the basic plot outline of Twlight. But here are a few things I know that I feel are truly useless.

1) The names of all the WWE professional wrestlers that were popular/active in 2002. The year that I actually followed professional wrestling and ordered Wrestlemania on Pay-Per-View. I'm not really sure what I was thinking when I went through that phase, but maybe it had something to do with really buff half-naked men fighting each other.

2) The strategy for defeating M'uru in World of Warcraft. Note that I don't include the strategies for defeating any Super Mario Brothers bosses. That information is actually quite useful when I play Nintendo DS with my niece and nephew.

3) How to say, "My love" in Elvish. Freaking Elvish. Someone read too much Lord of the Rings as a middle schooler...

4) The lyrics to every single song in the movie Muppet Treasure Island.

5) The names of the girls I went to summer camp with. You wouldn't think this was useless. "Awww, you could look them up on Facebook!" No. I hated summer camp. They made you sing songs and shoot a bow and arrow, and there wasn't any air conditioning. It was awful. The other girls were weird, and one of them was so obsessed with N*SYNC that she truly thought she was friends with the band. I have no fond memories of camp, and therefore do not need to remember the first and last names of the girls I went to camp with (they actually LIKED participating in all the mandatory activities. What's up with that?)

So begins the first part of Useless Things I Know. If you think you have some interesting, yet completely useless, information rattling around in your brain, feel free to participate. I know someone out there knows the birthdates and favorite color of every guy in New Kids On The Block.